I was raised in a very "hard-core" Christian family, with high expectations for the way I should behave. I believed I had good boundaries in my relationships...but they only existed in my mind.  I was not a good communicator.  I quickly realized that if I wanted to be treated a certain way, I had to make it clear to the guy what it was that I wanted him to do or not do.  But as you readers already might have guessed, I'm a chicken.  I'm afraid of "offending" people.  It's very difficult for me say what I want to say if I think it might in the slightest way offend someone.

As a result of my inability to communicate, or gather courage to talk to my boyfriend about boundaries, I found myself in a lot of uncomfortable situations, and a lot of feelings of regret afterwards.  These relationships often left me weeping at nights and believing what a horrible, impure girl I was--how unfit I was to be a good Christian example to others and a disgrace to God.  After my last relationship ended in feeling led-on and stripped of purity, I knew I had to change.  I was lowering my standards, believing that no one could ever reach the highest standard that I thought they should be.  This wasn't fair to the men I was dating.  I knew in my heart I wanted better, but I didn't believe such a man existed that could reach the standards I knew I should have. It wasn't fair to men because they deserve more respect than that.  They deserve to be given the chance to meet those standards that I know I should have.  It wasn't impossible.  All these standards required them to be was respectful of my body, my mind, my soul, and my God.  Is that really so hard to ask of a guy?  Not really.  If they really, truly valued me, they would rise to the challenge.  But if I didn't give them that chance, why should I expect them to even try?

Call it a growth in maturity, or maybe just a revelation...but whatever it was changed my whole approach to dating men.  I decided to lay it all straight out after my last bomb of a relationship.  I wasn't going to let myself be led on by a guy.  I wasn't going to sacrifice any purity for a guy ever again.  I wasn't going to give my whole heart to a man until he first gave me a ring. I was going to protect it for the one man I was going to spend the rest of my life with, and no one else was going to scar it.  I needed it whole for the one man who deserved it whole.  I'm on a crusade for purity.

In the beginning of last year, I met a wonderful man who dared to take on my extremely high standards.  I truly believed it would take me much longer to find a guy who would even try, but I was--I'm thankful to say--proven wrong.  I clearly laid out my new physical boundaries at the beginning of our relationship: no touching sensitive parts of the body and (this was really hard, but I felt was necessary) no kissing.  You may think I'm insane for that last one, but hear me out.  I have a weakness for kissing.  I love it.  I mean really, who doesn't?  But I knew from previous experience, it was way to easy for me to let the boundaries slowly fade away.  I really didn't want that to happen this time.  I'm in the dating scene for one purpose:  to find a good husband.  The main reason wasn't to have fun--although that comes along with it when you're with a good person.  This is why I feel so strongly to do things right, and for me, I believe this is what it takes for me to keep it pure.  For others, it make take another approach, and some couples may be perfectly pure kissing before getting engaged or married.  That's perfectly fine--but this is what it takes for me and my boyfriend to remain pure and focused on what's right and good.

Some inspirations for me have been Jason and Crystalina Evert, who are amazing speakers on chastity and pure relationships. I definitely recommending listening to them speak if you ever get the chance because you'll probably be surprised and intrigued by their life stories.

(Continued from this post)

QuantumStorm:..anyways, so where were we? ah yes: the pirate tripped, something was wrong with the pirate

ama_nesciri:I was pulling a few wires after you tripped

QuantumStorm:and suddenly i was doing the worm and while doing that, my hand trips the emergency landing switch, and the ship starts a landing sequence and begins to land on the nearest planet.  the planet is a forest planet, with volcanoes. and as the ship is landing,

ama_nesciri:the force of the ship zooming towards the planet slams the beetle against the insides of the pirate and while the pirate is continuing to do the worm, the beetle is bounced around until she slams into a tiny release lever

QuantumStorm:and the pirate's eye falls out his left eye

QuantumStorm:the eye falls to the floor and shatters and a tiny piece of paper rolls to the ground.  the paper has some writing on itand a small diagram of... something.

ama_nesciri:it was a diagram of the pirates insides!

QuantumStorm:and it had a secret code!

ama_nesciri:it had other secrets written on it

QuantumStorm:there was a code for something on there...the beetle crawls out the pirate's eye socket and falls to the ground, reading it.  there is a code, and a tiny map to a star system

QuantumStorm:and the words "location of doomsday weapon" written on it

ama_nesciri:it's written in beetle scratch...but she can barely read it...it must have been written by a beetle doctor

QuantumStorm:the ship landsthe pirate wakes up and he is seized by sorrow and sadness for before him,

ama_nesciri:was his mother

QuantumStorm:a scene of tragedy unfolds!YES his mother...which was impossible!

ama_nesciri:she was old and gray and hunchbacked. she was supposed to have died!

QuantumStorm:she died years ago, so who was this impostor!HAHA

QuantumStorm:the mother speaks

ama_nesciri:he would recognize her voice anywhere!

QuantumStorm:she says "I am a memory, left behind by your real mother in the event you landed here." "I must reveal an important clue that you will find helpful on your quest." the pirate thinks, what quest?" meanwhile, the beetle....

ama_nesciri:crawls up the pirate's shoulder and looks at the see-through lady and clicks her antennae together listening intently to the pirate's mother as she says,"I know you will come here with a beetle. I have seen it...you must....

QuantumStorm:find the beetle and listen to it.  you must find a way to understand it. the pirate thinks, "typical, my mother was INSANE"

QuantumStorm:and the mother says, "only then will you know why i left you" and now the pirate is thoughtful1

ama_nesciri:he felt the resentment well up a little inside, too.  the beetle, who knew what his mother was trying to say, so she clicked her jaws to try to alert his attention to her presence

QuantumStorm:and the pirate hears a clicking noise and looks to his shoulder, but before he could react a huge explosion rocks the ship, and then another, and another,and he recognizes THAT sound--that's no natural phenomena, he thinks... that's GUNFIRE!  so he runs to the tactical station and sure enough

ama_nesciri:the beetle scurried into his eye socket again

QuantumStorm:a whole army of robot cupcakes with artillery cannons was firing on his ship

ama_nesciri:those cupcakes no longer looked tasty...

QuantumStorm:"FREE OUR CHILDREN" they bellowed, and the pirate turned on the ship's engines, and the ship lurched into the air, but it was too heavy. the cupcakes were weighing him down! the artillery crackled around the ship

ama_nesciri:so the beetle turned on the anti-gravity

QuantumStorm:puffs of black smoke peppered the skies and the cupcakes floated out of the ship, through the windows, and the front door

QuantumStorm:but one artillery shellhits the main engine

ama_nesciri:and any remaining [cupcakes], the beetle burrowed into and chowed down

QuantumStorm:and as the beetle was safely nestled inside a cocoon of sugar and cake, the ship crashed....it was falling into a volcano! the pirate knew this was it...his life was over. he would never live to be old, to have a family, to have riches...

ama_nesciri:but the beetle, who was very quick witted--sensed the pirate was going all nostalgic on her and scurried into the circuit board again

QuantumStorm:and just as the ship descended into the volcano...

ama_nesciri:she spit onto a wire connection hoping that this would help the engine roar againshe really hoped the parent cupcakes weren't fried beetle eating cupcakes too

QuantumStorm:it wasn't working, but something was wrong with the volcano....it was not an ordinary volcano...the lava looked... fake...

ama_nesciri:it was a rainbow volcano

QuantumStorm:as though it was made of hundreds of tiny... rainbow cupcakes

QuantumStorm:and the cupcakes caught the ship

amama_nesciri:"how gross" thought the she-beetle

QuantumStorm:and gently landed it on a flat cliff inside the volcano chamber and the pirate decided to venture out, so the beetle...who was still a little wary of the pirate and beetle-eating cupcake parents, stayed behind and watched through the large ship windshield as the pirate went out exploring

QuantumStorm:the rainbow cupcakes swarmed the ship, the beetle was surrounded. the pirate saw what happened and ran back

ama_nesciri:and the beetle, suddenly realizing she was surrounded, and her little shell, as hard as it was, wouldn't protect her

and they were separated between a huge cupcake wall surrounding the ship!

QuantumStorm:and the pirate saw a little gleaming object in the windowit was the she-beetle and then he realized what he had to do, so with a determined look on his face, he ATE THE CUPCAKES. EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM no rainbow cupcake was spared the wrath of the mandibles of justice

ama_nesciri:but every cupcake he ate, added a little bit of rust to his insideshe had to be careful eating food meant for 100% humans

QuantumStorm:but the pirate had to do it to save the beetle. he knew the beetle was the key to save his world and the ones he loved. he remembered now: the quest he abandoned so long ago... so he ate through those cupcakesand finally got to the beetle

ama_nesciri:so he could embark on that quest with a shiny door... to a large mountain

QuantumStorm:a mountain inside the volcano.  it's a big volcano...it even has its own starbucks, quite impressive, really

ama_nesciri:lol!in fact, two starbucks...it was that huge

QuantumStorm:so the pirate walks through the doors

and the beetle12:20amama_nesciri:or tries to...

ama_nesciri:they were locked, but he looked at the beetle1

QuantumStorm:the pirate is confused, how do i unlock the doors? and the beetle....

ama_nesciri:and noticed...the lock was an odd shape: it was kinda round, like a beetle and he said, "excuse me beetle, mind if I?"and he picked her up by one legand stuffed her in the keyhole, and the door swung open. she was literally the key to his quest

QuantumStorm:and the pirate saw....

ama_nesciri:a venti frappaccino! on sale for $2. he couldn't pass it up

QuantumStorm:the pirate rejoiced. there was much frolicking and the pirate did the worm for real

ama_nesciri:and then after the sugar wore off and the caffeine

QuantumStorm:the pirate saw another cluea magnifying glass

ama_nesciri:and when the she-beetle crawled under it

QuantumStorm:on the floor in the corner of one of the cave chambers with the tiny paper, the pirate saw the map to the star system

ama_nesciri:but it wasn't any star system he had ever seen

QuantumStorm:the pirate saw odd symbols, three beetles: one was hopping, one was skipping, and one was jumping. and all were pointing to that system on the map

ama_nesciri:and he asked the she-beetle what they meant...

QuantumStorm:and the beetle clicked its antennae together, but the pirate couldn't understand. and suddenly, a secret door opens

ama_nesciri:and she clicked back, trying to make sense to him...but he still couldn't translate

QuantumStorm:and out pops a Babelfish:the rare cave-dwelling babelfish. the pirate catches it and sticks it in his eye, and now he can understand what the beetle is saying. the beetle says...

ama_nesciri:"can you hear me? can you hear me now? "ok"

QuantumStorm:the pirate nods and listens

ama_nesciri:"those three beetles are the very first beetles...the grandfather and grandmother and great aunt of all beetles" "they are associated with the planet "Beetlearth" and on that planet is hidden a very special beetle gem, worth millions of pirate gold. right now the cupcake monster tyrant is trying to steal that beetle gem

QuantumStorm:[he also] has his doomsday weapon trained on that planet, too

ama_nesciri:exactly

QuantumStorm:if he can't get the gem, no one else can

ama_nesciri:in the process, he will destroy Beetlearth!!

QuantumStorm:but why does the tyrant want the gem? We beetles do not know all we know is that the gem is precious to our cultural heritage.  legend says that it can bring back people from the dead, but those are long-forgotten storiestold to baby beetle-grubs before bedtime.  

ama_nesciri: aw the only memory I have of my beetle mother....

QuantumStorm:(so maybe not so long-forgotten haha)

ama_nesciri:she was a very old mother

QuantumStorm:but we must find the tyrant and stop him before he kills my family! l

ama_nesciri:yes!

QuantumStorm:the pirate understands but is curious: what does this have to do with his mother? But for now, he'll play along. he's a pirate1

ama_nesciri:what does this have to do with him? lol yeah

QuantumStorm:so the pirate returns to the shipwith the beetle

ama_nesciri:and starts to set the coordinates. "wait!" cried the beetle, "it's not that easy."

QuantumStorm:"the system is a hop, skip and a jump away"

ama_nesciri:you have to prepare the ship!

QuantumStorm:how? says the pirate1

ama_nesciri:you have to shrikify it!shrinkify*

QuantumStorm:how do we do that? says the pirate

ama_nesciri:beetlearth is way to small for your ship to land.  you must go to the back of the starbucks store-room. there you will find a burlap bag of magical beans.  you must feed them into the energy tank fo the ship

QuantumStorm:it is the source of starbucks' power! use it well!

ama_nesciri:lol

QuantumStorm:*wisely i mean haha

ama_nesciri:lol yeah

QuantumStorm:so the pirate finds the beans and takes them back to the ship and following the beetle's instructions, the ship is now the size of a...

ama_nesciri:walnut

QuantumStorm:OOOH I LOVE WALNUTS CAN I HAVE ONE oh wait, you mean the ship size...right

ama_nesciri:LOL

QuantumStorm:so the ship is the size of a walnut

ama_nesciri:good thing the pirate's not allergic. that could be bad...

QuantumStorm:no the pirate is only allergic to fishsticks

ama_nesciri:oh poor guy

QuantumStorm:because in his world, fishsticks are made of cashew nuts and peanut butter

ama_nesciri:oh what a tragedy

QuantumStorm:i know right? so the pirate lifts off

ama_nesciri:that would spoil good peanut butter!QuantumStorm:(haha true) and it takes FIFTY TIMES LONGER TO FLY the same distance because his ship is the size of his walnut

ama_nesciri:but with the magical power of the beans

QuantumStorm:no, make it 500 times longer but with the beans...1

ama_nesciri:it zooms at 20 times lightspeed

QuantumStorm:and suddenly the pirate is off to the system! and on the way he reads a book on beetles

ama_nesciri:and the beetle picks up a book on pirates

QuantumStorm:and the ship speeds on autopilot to the system. meanwhile, the cupcake tyrant is planning his attack. his army of cupcakes is at his disposal, he is sitting in his throne room on his mothership on the command deck. the cupcake fleet commander walks into the throne room.  "My Sugary goodness!" he says

ama_nesciri:LOL!

QuantumStorm:The Tyrant says "At ease, my child." "Yes your honorable creaminess" the commander says, "Sir, the fleet is assembled. We are ready to move when you give the order!" The Tyrant's marzipan eyes crinkle with greed and anticipation.  This was the moment he had been waiting for. He wasn't sure if those rumors were true about the gem...but he had to find outand this was the only way to find out if it was all true. "Prepare to move out!" he barked. Meanwhile, on the pirate ship...

ama_nesciri:which was zooming merrily along. the beetle looked up from her pirate book to see that a sparkle in the distance behind them. "what is that?" it got bigger and bigger really fast. when she saw what it was...she panicked.  she scampered up the pirate's leg and clicked her jaws to try to wake him--his beetle book was really pretty boring

QuantumStorm:and the pirate jerks awake to see....

ama_nesciri:the cupcake ship right beside his.  "GREAT BEETLES OF FIRE!"

QuantumStorm:the pirate wasn't sure what to do.  he never faced such diabetic sugary tastiness of this magnitude before

ama_nesciri:Loooool!!

QuantumStorm:so he activates his rapid-firing insulin autocannon, and BAMBAMBAMBAMBAM

QuantumStorm:he hit EVERYTHING but the cupcakes--his aim SUCKED

ama_nesciri:it did, however, hit one tiny baby cupcake, which infuriated the Tyrant

QuantumStorm:and the baby cupcake screamed and wailed in pain.  and the other cupcakes swarmed the ship and held it until the main fleet arrived

QuantumStorm:and the pirate ship was brought into the hangar bay of the mothership

ama_nesciri:the beetle scampered up into the pirates eye for safekeeping

QuantumStorm:and then the pirate ship's bay doors are pried open with a candy cane

ama_nesciri:as the cupcakes started to break open the ship

QuantumStorm:and the cupcakes drag the pirate out of the ship and before the tyrant and the Tyrant looks down at the pirate and says, "child, tell me your name." The pirate says, "my name is hrrrrgrrrrgrgrrkkkk-" at this point the beetle was playing with his cybernetic voice processor in a frantic attempt to make sure the pirate didn't say anything valuable

ama_nesciri:the Tyrant, having encountered cyber pirates before, sensed there was something fishy going on

QuantumStorm:and he whips his licorice staff around and bops the pirate on the head. the beetle....

ama_nesciri:especially when the only noises the pirate would make were clicking noises.  [The beetle] popped out of the pirates eye.

ama_nesciri: "AH HA!"

QuantumStorm:"Seize her!"

ama_nesciri:the cupcake tyrant screamed. SHE is the one I want!!

QuantumStorm:"Sir, he died a long time ago, and that was in Rome." "NO you fool, not caesar! SEIZE HER"

QuantumStorm:and they grab the beetle and carry her off to be interrogated.  and the pirate is carried off to another room and at this point...

(to be continued.  Stay tuned to hear how the She-Beetle and the Space Pirate escape the tight grasp of the Cupcake Tyrant!)

Remember when you were this young, and you had not a care in the world--no stress, no bills to worry about, no rent to pay, no homework to turn in, and no tests to pass? Those were the days...  :P I wonder what this little girl was day dreaming about. Was she pretending she was a crazy convict in jail and about to be released? Or was she pretending she was coming down the stairs and she caught a glimse of Santa Claus?  I remember when I was younger, I used to pretend I was a beetle, and I used to crawl around doing the "crab walk" on my hands and feet.  I don't even remember why I used to pretend I was a hard crusty bug...maybe it was the cool iridescent shell they had on their backs that captured my imagination. Maybe it was even because my dad told me he used to pretend he was a beetle, and I wanted to see what it was like to be a beetle, too.  Did you like to pretend you were someone or something when you were little?  If so, who or what?